What your kids want you to know

Too much attention is paid during a divorce to trying to figure out the perfect parenting plan often resulting the parents forgetting what is important to their children.  Instead, if parents focus on some basic rules, they will find that they can raise happy and successful children after their divorce.  Here are some basic rules both parents should keep in mind during both the divorce process and thereafter:

1)  Communicate directly with each other.  NEVER use the children as your messenger or sounding board about issues between you.
2) Put extra effort in getting along.  Remember, the level of success of your children in divorce is directly relating the DEGREE OF CONFLICT between the parents, NOT the terms of the parenting plan.
3)  Stay involved in their lives.  Show up to baseball games, dance recitals, plays, parent – teacher conferences.  Make phone calls, write emails, text, look at their homework.  Seeing you both still care is critical.
4)  Address problems with your children jointly.  If they get in trouble, let me know you are going to talk to the other parent first.  If both parents get along, have the conversation about what happened jointly.
5)  Reinforce that both of you still love them no matter what happened between the two of you.